Fruitcakes 5
by Goddess Bless
Summary: Fred meets the fantastic four, I mean the girls and Jeremy. You find out Harry's new career. And why is he wearing a Hawaiian shirt? [Implied HGFW] [HarryGeorge] [Slash] [OneShot]


"You came back?"

"If only I'd have come sooner."

"Maybe it's better this way."

"No, don't talk like that. We're together now, everything will be fine."

"Atleast I got to see you, one last time."

She took his hand and sang, "We are home, we are where we shall be forever. Trust in me, for you know, I won't run away. From today, this is all that I need, and all that I need to say. Don't you know how you changed me. Strange how I finely see, I've found hope. You're my home. Stay with me."

His hand slipped away and fell to the ground.

"No. No, please. Don't leave me! I love you."

Sound started and she backed away as his body twisted and glowed. Light shined from his skin and his paws were gone, his horns, his tail. All his fur. And in place of a beast, was a handsome man.

The man stood and turned sharply to face Belle. He started towards her singing. "Belle, look into my eyes. Belle don't you recognize. The beast within the man who's here before you?"

"It is you!" Belle exclaimed and they shared a long passionate kiss.

Mrs. Potts ,Cogsworth and Lumiere entered watching them.

"Mrs. Potts! Lumiere! Cogsworth!" The beast turned man hugged his friends then went back to Belle as Cogsworth and Lumiere started arguing.

"That is not the prince!" Cogsworth exclaimed.

"Yes, he is! The spell is broken!" Lumiere went and kissed Cogsworth on the cheek, and when Cogsworth tried Lumiere batted him away.

"Oh! Lumiere!" Babette called, standing by Mrs. Potts and Maurice.

"Oh, Babette! You look so much... better!" Lumiere exclaimed kissing up her arm.

"What? I thought you liked the way I looked before!" She teased him with pretend offence.

"I did, but this is better!" Lumiere chased Babette away to the corner where he and her leaned against the wall to continue flirting.

A woman with extremely tall blond hair stepped in on the opposite side.

Cogsworth noticed her and his face lit up. "Madame may I say you look ravishing!" He said gently kissing her hand.

Wardrobe smiled at him and announced, "I'm surprised I still fit in this. I wore this during my grandest performance, the king himself was there."

Cogsworth beamed at her, "I know, you were wonderful." They went off arm in arm to the opposite corner as Lumiere and Babette.

All of them looked on as Belle, in her legendary golden dress, and the prince came down, in his blue frocked overcoat and slacks. They made a gentle waltz in the middle of the stage as the items turned human came onto stage lining up in four rows behind them. The Maison De Lunes head doctor came out with a silly girl on each arm, as did LeFou. The other villagers found their places around the objects turned people.

They opened their mouthed and song the soft background as Belle and the Beast looked into each others eyes and sang clearly.

"Two lives have begun now! Two hearts become one now. One passion, one dream one thing forever true."

The whole cast sang loudly, with the two stars, "I love you!"

Belle and the Beast started to waltz again as the ensemble sang their ending part.

"Certain as the sun, ahhhhh, rising in the east. Tale as old as time. Song as old as rhyme, Beauty and the Beast. Ahhhhh, tale as old as time. Song as old as rhyme. Beauty and the Beast. Ahhh, ahhhh, ahhhhhhh!"

The objects took their bows and stood off to the side, the wolves took their bows and stood off to the side. Then the villagers, followed by the silly girls. Finally, Lefou, Maurice, and Maison De Lunes doctor took a bow and went to either side. Followed by the wardrobe, Babette, and Chip all bowing as one. Cogsworth came on and took his bow, going up onto a riser and standing there, then came Gaston and he went and stood opposite of Cogsworth on the riser. Gaston was followed by Mrs. Potts, who took her bow, she went and stood by Cogsworth, then Lumiere came, took his bow and then stood by Gaston.

Beauty and the Beast struck up as Beast walked to the center of the upper riser, and waited arm outstretched for Belle. She came next and tucked her arm under his as they made their way gracefully down the platforms to the stage.

Beast kissed the top of her hand gently and then went out and took his bow, to an enormous applause. Then he held out his hand for Belle and she went and curtsied. The cast thanked the orchestra and the curtain closed.

* * *

"Hermione as much as I loved that show, why did we have to go all the way to Boston!" Fred groaned as Hermione dragged him through the crowd towards the dressing room. When they got there, the usher smiled at Hermione and immediately let her through. When they got to the main dressing room, the cast called out greetings to Hermione, and told her Alai was in his dressing room with Alroy and the kids. She nodded and went down the hallway to the Beasts dressing room. Knocking on the door, Hermione heard a muffled call for them to enter. 

In the room was the Beast, a thin man with naturally tanned skin, along with Belle, a beautiful young woman with dark brown hair and the same tan skin. In the room was another man tan skin and red haired clashed, but Fred almost thought he was George. The room was chaos because of a ten year old boy with the same clashing red hair and tan skin was wrestling with three young girls all with long black hair pulled into braids, all dressed in long sleeve emerald green turtlenecks with a black velvet dress over it and black tights.

Beast stood up and broke into a wide smile. "Hermione! I'm so glad you could make it!" He gave her a large warm hug, which Hermione returned whole heartedly.

"Hello, Hermione." Belle said standing up and giving Hermione a small hug.

"You were fantastic Mallory! As were you Alai." She said giving Mallory a hug as well.

Alroy just sat where he was, on the radiator turned seat, staring at Fred.

Alai turned eyes to Fred as well and let out a low whistle. "Wow, Fred, you haven't changed a bit have you? George, if you weren't so good in bed, I think I might have taken this one!" He said playfully to his companion.

"George?" Fred asked almost afraid it wasn't real.

George nodded and was engulfed in a flying hug by his twin.

Harry looked down at his kids and said, "You now, Mary made her cookies, I bet if you go ask nicely she'll give you some." The children raced out and Harry dragged Mallory and Hermione out. "We need to give the two time for reunion." Harry explained.

Mallory nodded and gave Harry a kiss on the cheek "I'm going to head out, Sarah's giving me a ride home." Mallory was a sixteen year old run away that was staying at Harry's neighbors house while custody matters were being worked out.

After helping clean up, and prepare for tomorrow nights show, Harry, George, Hermione, and Fred headed back to their house. In the back of the van Fred stared down at the two little girls attached to his waist. Hermione was rubbing circles on the back of Archer and Jeremy as they used her as a pillow. They both smiled at each other and shared a kiss, entwining their fingers.

After George had put Jeremy into his bed, the four made their way up to the girls room. The room had changed, it now had dark blue carpet, and bright joyous yellow walls, and the room had hundreds of wind chimes hanging from the ceiling. In the middle was a larger than normal sized bed with a sun and moon blanket on it. It had a dark blue canopy over it, and when the lights when out at night, it showed the night sky. Drawing back the covers, Hermione, Harry, and Fred laid each of the small girls on the bed, where they cuddled into each other.

Back downstairs the four adults congregated around the kitchen island, all nursing a Mikes Hard Lemonade. Fred starting, with a question that had been on his mind, "So, those are your children?" Fred asked, almost fearing being bitten.

Harry and George joined hands and nodded, "We hadn't told you the names have we?" Harry asked. Fred shook his head and Harry smiled widely, "There pretty wild names, then again, so are our alias'. Alai and Alroy? Traditional Gaelic names, then Nora, traditional Gaelic, Alice, traditional German, and Ivy is a tradition Greek name." Harry rattled on.

Fred nodded and said, "So your little girls are named Alice, Nora, and Ivy?"

Harry laughed a bit, "I'm sorry, I wasn't clear, that's just one of the girls names. They all have three." Fred looked at him in astonishment, George felt Harry getting uncomfortable, and took the reins.

"Then there's Thea, is Greek, and it means Goddess name, her two middle names are Kali, which is a Hindu Goddess, and Sophia, is Greek for wisdom." Fred nodded, while Hermione looked absolutely fascinated.

Harry finished off with the third girl's name. "Finally there's Archer, it's a Teutonic guys name, but we named her after a friend of ours, a book shop owner, her name was Archer, well carrying on. Then it's Fiona, a traditional Gaelic name, means Fair, then Lucy, which means light, so her name is, Archer of fair light."

Hermione's eyes lit up with the translation, "That's beautiful, you're going to have to help me name my children!" Fred choked on his drink and Harry and George discreetly looked at each other.

"Finally," They started together, George continued, "Jeremy, from an old friend of ours,"

"Then Tyler, middle English, actually named for another of our friends," Harry continued,

"Then finally Thatcher, another old friend of ours." George finished like he had never been stopped.

"The girl's are five, and Jeremy's ten, Jeremy has August 29th as his birthday, and the girl's have May 13th as theirs." Fred nodded sadly, he had not been their for most of the children's childhood.

They continued to talk long into the night about what they have done, where they have been, and who's been there with them. Hermione and Fred were due to be married in two weeks, and Fred finally found out, why Hermione had invited the family of the Atwalls.

Before leaving, Harry and George made Fred promise not to tell anyone. They wanted to see how Mrs Weasley's reaction to a gay family being at the wedding, more so, George being Fred's best man, Jeremy being the ring bearer, and Nora, Archer, and Thea being flower girls. Fred readily agreed, and Harry invited them to his gig at Window Warning, the biggest club in the area, it wasn't really a stepping club, more like, a fancy club, with live entertainment and clean tables. Hermione and Fred readily agreed and told Harry they couldn't wait to see him perform again.

* * *

The time passed and it was time for the gig. The band they hired to play with Harry stretched out over the large stage, people could see it was mostly Carribean instruments. Hermione and Fred, dressed in fine clothes, nothing to fancy, but they didn't look like smucks, were brought over to the center table, it was already filled up, leaving only two seats. The people that filled it up were Mallory, George, Nora, Archer, Thea, and Jeremy. Once everyone was seated, and had ordered their food. The lights darkened and red came from the top of the stage, blue came from the bottom, meeting in the middle wear a slim figure was. In that time, all of the food was brought out, and the waiters slipped away unnoticed. White light beamed out behind him, making the person just a silhouette. The white light ended, casting everyone into darkness, then a soft blue and orange lit the stage showing Harry in the front with a guitar and in the back was the rest of the band, all at their proper stations, all dressed in Hawaiian shirts and beige khaki shorts. 

The band starting going with a slow tune, once the guitar got started, he started talking to the audience. "You know, I was talking to my friend Desdemona, she runs the space station and bake shop down near boom town. She told me that human beings are flawed individuals, that the cosmic- bakers took us out of the oven a little to early, and that's the reason we're as crazy as we are. And I believe it," He took the microphone out of the stand and started walking really looking at the audience.

"Take for example, when you go to the movies these days, you know, they try to sell you this jumbo drink, eight extra ounces of water'd down cherry coke for an extra twenty five cents." His voice started to get angry and it rose, "I don't want it! I don't want that much organization in my life, I don't want other people thinking for me!" He paused and turned to the other side of the audience and yelled, "I want junior mints! Where did Junior Mints go in the movies? I don't want a twelve pound nestle's crunch for twenty five dollars!

"I want Junior Mints! We need more fruitcakes in this world! Less bakers! We need people who care!" He continued yelling while putting his mike back on the stand, "I'm mad as hell! I don't wanna take it anymore!"

He shuffled to the put and had a huge smile on his face, oh yes, Harry was enjoying this! He looked slowly from side to side, bringing his hands across singing,

"Fruitcakes in the kitchen (fruitcakes in the kitchen)  
Fruitcakes on the street (fruitcakes on the street)

Struttin' naked through the crosswalk  
In the middle of the week."

Half-baked cookies in the oven (cookies in the oven)  
Half-baked people on the bus (people on the bus)  
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us."

It sounded as if he was trying to tell the audience a story, to kinda sway their opinion a little to his side, everyone needs a fruitcake in their life!

"Paradise, lost and found  
Paradise, take a look around  
I was out in California where I hear they have it all  
They got riots, fires, mud slides  
They've got sushi in the mall  
Water bars, brontosaurs, Chinese modern lust  
Shake and bake life with the quake  
The secret's in the crust."

Several people nodded and laughed in agreement. Seeing the encouragement, he continued.

"Fruitcakes in the kitchen (fruitcakes in the kitchen)  
Fruitcakes on the street (fruitcakes on the street)  
Struttin' naked through the crosswalk  
In the middle of the week "

Half-baked cookies in the oven (cookies in the oven)

Half-baked people on the bus (people on the bus)

There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us"

After waiting a bit he started speaking to the audience again. "Speakin' of fruitcakes, how 'bout the government? Your tax dollars at work!" He went back singing,

"We lost our martian rocket ship  
The high paid spokesman said  
Looks like that silly rocket ship  
Has lost it's cone shaped head  
We spent 90 jillion dollars!

Trying to get a look at mars,  
I hear universal laughter ringing out among the stars."

"Fruitcakes in the galaxy (fruitcakes in the galaxy)  
Fruitcakes on the earth (fruitcakes on the earth)  
Struttin' naked towards eternity  
We've been that way since birth  
Half-baked cookies in the oven (cookies in the oven)  
Half-baked people on the bus (people on the bus)  
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us."

Harry grinned and waved at their table, wear the girls, waved spaztastically back, and Jeremy waved in a slowly more controlled manner, the crowd laughed at their cuteness. "Religion! Religion! Oh, there's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning. Here we go now. Alright, alter boys." Harry said into the mike.

"Mea culpa mea culpa mea maxima culpa.  
Mea culpa mea culpa mea maxima culpa."

"Where's the church, who took the steeple?  
Religion is in the hands of some crazy-ass people!  
Television preachers with bad hair and dimples.  
The god's honest truth is it's not that simple!  
It's the buddhist in you, it's the pagan in me.  
It's the muslim in him, she's catholic ain't she?  
It's the born again look it's the wasp and the jew.  
Tell me what's goin on, I ain't gotta clue!"

As much of sense he was making, people still laughed at the nonsense the song sounded. "Now here comes the big ones. Relationships! We all got 'em, we all want 'em. What do we do with 'em? Here we go, I'll tell ya."

"He said you gotta do your fair share

Now cough up half the rent  
I treat my body like a temple  
You treat yours like a tent  
But the right word at the right time  
Hey give me a little hug  
That's the difference between lightning  
And a harmless lightnin' bug."

"Fruitcakes in the kitchen (fruitcakes in the kitchen)  
Fruitcakes on the street (fruitcakes on the street)  
Struttin' naked through the crosswalk  
In the middle of the week

"Half-baked cookies in the oven (cookies in the oven)

Half-baked people on the bus (people on the bus)  
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us"

Harry took hold of the mike as the lights turned into a dark blue with spots and circles of white. "The future. captain's log, stardate two thousand and something." Most people laughed at this.

"We're seven years from the millennium  
That's a science fiction fact  
Stanley kubrick and his buddy Hal  
Now don't look that abstract."

"So I'll put on my Bob Marley tape  
And practice what I preach."

His voice took on a Jamaican accent and he sang,

"Get jah lost in the reggae mon  
As I walk along the beach"

He went back to his regular British Boston accent.

"Stay in touch with my insanity.

Really is the only way  
It's a jungle out there kiddies  
Have a very fruitful day  
Hey!"

"Fruitcakes in the kitchen (fruitcakes in the kitchen)  
Fruitcakes on the street (fruitcakes on the street)  
Struttin' naked through the crosswalk  
In the middle of the week  
Half-baked cookies in the oven (cookies in the oven)  
Half-baked people on the bus (people on the bus)  
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us."

The song started to wind down a bit, and Harry was back to talking to the audience. " That's right, you too. Yeah those crumbs are spread all around this universe. I've seen fruitcakes. I saw this guy in Santa Monica roller skated naked through the crosswalk.. Down in New Orleans, in the french market there are fruitcakes like you cannot believe. New York? Forget it. Fruitcake city. Down island, we've got fruitcakes. Spread them crumbs around. that's right, we want 'em around. Keep bakin' baby, keep bakin'."

The crowd whistled and cheered for their new favorite performer. Harry continued to entertain long into the night, until finally the crowd left and he was left standing there with his family. Thea was asleep in George's arms and Jeremy was standing wobbly on his feet. It was well past midnight, and all the kids were on their last legs. George traded Thea to Harry and picked up Jeremy, who even for being ten, was still quite small, while Hermione and Fred picked up the last two girls. Popping everyone into Harry's twelve person van was easy enough and then, since Harry was still on his adrenaline rush, drove the hour drive home. Mallory said goodnight and headed off next door, it was a nice last night, tomorrow she would be leaving in the early morn to her new home in Carmel, Indiana. The kids were tucked in and the tired adults said their goodbyes, leaving Harry and George to fall asleep arm in arm on the couch, not even making it to their room.

Fin

* * *

**A/N: Ah, this is the second to last one. When I first started to make this story, I didn't think I would get any reviews on it, but now? Wow. I've already decided, I'm going to delete the single chapters and put them all into one thing, Fruitcakes: Basket Case. Just something to look out for. I might do it, I might not, depends on what you guys tell me too do.**

**Mea cupla mea culpa mea maxima culpa: The fall, the fall, the ultimate fall.**

**R/R please!**


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